if by sleep, you mean NOT

Here are 3 truths I learned during the longest day (literally) of my natural born life.

Truth 1. Adderrall is crack.

Truth 2. If you ask a girl that recently got engaged any small, tiny, insignificant detail about her wedding… or ask her anything at all (this includes, I have learned, ‘are you in my psych class?’ and ‘do you know where the bathroom is?’) : expect at the LEAST a 30 minute conversation.

Truth 3. The three stages of sleep deprivation…..

Stage 1: Hours awake: 24- awkward responses to questions begin, disabled coordination is apparent *perhaps a twitch in the eye manifests around the end of this stage.

Stage 2: Hours awake: 36- inability to communicate without sounding drunk or like a drug addict (seriously), inhibition dissipates resulting in impulsive behavior and unexpected rude comments

Stage 3: Hours awake: 40+ Look and sound like Britney Spears. Literally cannot function as a human being on this earth….inappropriate laughter erupts at awkward moments, ability to say something one second and forget it the next is rampant. Complete lack of social grace creates embarrassing and irreversible social mistakes. Again, rude comments are made and awkward coordination becomes an issue. Absolutely no grasp of time. Hours seem like minutes, days seem like seconds **Invincibility complex- belief that one can achieve more hours of awakeness as if in a contest with own body. Also criminal thoughts begin to manifest for no reason at all**Who am I?? Cannot recognize own face in mirror, and intently look at different angles to see if face literally has changed.**Also have the strange feeling of being watched by entire world as if Truman on The Truman Show. (sounds weird….but get to Stage 3 and you will totally feel me on this one)

Conclusion:

Time for bed (finally). Math exam that decides my life is tomorrow. Oh I’ll show you FAHAD ARSHADDDDDDD (my TA who seriously questions my status as a sophomore in college on a daily basis)

Hooray Movies! Hooray Poems!

I may be alone in this… but, after watching a movie that has moved, shifted, changed, enlarged, minimized, fostered, or stifled something within me… this metaphysical, intangible, and unexplainable urge to write a response burns inside of me…and most often, I cannot ignore the flame. I give in.

So, here are two i found in my journal…feel free to think i have no talent.

Blue-Collar Romance:
A Response to the Notebook
I want to dance to the sound of spoons rattling,
Tip tip tapping,
Rapping against a joyful knee
to the rhythm of a beatnick banjo.
Each metal pluck,
Twang, Pang.
I’m drawn nearer to you.
Our hipbones clash,
and I step on your feet.
We laugh on this imperfect night.
Feet ablaze, and stirred by music,
We dance.
You kick up the dust as we pace in circles,
We’ve traveled the world tonight.
The creases and folds of your tough, working hands
feel rough against my skin.
My hair a mess,
My clothes dirty with a day’s duties,
I’ve never felt more adequate.

Someone, Somewhere is Laughing at Me:
A Response to 25th Hour
A pint at Brogan’s in that third hour.
Like my sobriety, my time left here is slipping away.
Tick, Tick
I broke the law at 38th and Broadway,
and again on Avenue A.
My memory, a cloud of cross-streets,
landmarks,
meeting places.
It wasn’t worth it.
Tick, Tick, Tick
Guilt stares at me through dust-covered portraits
of the heroes of my past.
Engine 306.
Tick, Tick, Tick, Tick
He said I wore that fireman’s helmet to bed
until I was six
Fuck.

Go Cool Kids!

Prepare yourself. The Cool Kids are coming to town. If you haven’t already heard of this throw-back rap duo straight from the windy city streets of Chicago, sporting gold chains and thrift store cardigans, then let me be the first to introduce you to your new favorite group. Soon you will be rhyming, “Do the smurf, do the wop, baseball bat. Rooftop, like I’m bringing ‘88 back” and throwing your hands in the air. Trust.

Rolling Stone: Artist to Watch

LISTEN

…Savvy?

I have no idea why I have decided to create this.

My brain is fried from writing final papers… so perhaps this is a product of my need to escape the worlds of Literary Theory and Educational Philosophy. I even feel a pang of resentment as I capitalize those phrases in accordance with their “Proper Noun” status. As a futile defiant act, I have created a list of words I believe should be included in the official list of Proper Nouns.

1. Peanut Butter

2. Epic Dance Party

3. Grizzly Bear

4. Polka Dots

that, pathetically, is all I can come up with at the moment. I clearly need to eat dinner.

PEACE!

p.s. Ever since the emergence of the Disney phenomenon Pirates of the Caribbean, I have wanted to be able to use the phrase “savvy?” and not sound like a complete tool. I don’t think I have accomplished this goal quite yet, but one day… when the time is right…and I am drunkenly dressed as a pirate, holding whiskey in my right hand, and I have just made a ridiculous statement that no one understands, I will be able to spit out the phrase which I so adore, “..savvy?” and I will totally get away with it!

society that mocks the use of the word “savvy” : 0

Kristin: 1